Sometimes all you have is faith and the hope that you are looked after by God and spirit. Because if you feel so alone in this space that you live in then you will just start to die piece by piece until there is nothing left. You love the people who are the closest to you who make your life the best it can be, that bring love. This means opening yourself up to pain though as you find that you must live with whatever it is that suffocates and holds you prisoner. Because if you were to leave it would have such major life long painful consequences for that person who loves you so much if you go. But what to do. How to live. God will tell you and will plainly open painful wounds to be looked directly upon so that he can find your voice above the pain that slows you down and tells you that you that life is not for you. That life is just too difficult. Trust everything that is happening. Trust God for he has a world that he has created with a place for you here.